Vincent – Short Film by Tim Burton – 1982

I’ve no idea how I missed this after all these years, because it’s awesome. Tim Burton doing his thing way back in 1982, full of all the zany goodness that we’ve all come to love.

My favourite Tim Burton is probably Ed Wood, also my favourite film with Johnny Depp in it.

Anyway, check out this cartoon if you’ve never seen it – there’s worse things to do with six and a half minutes! Not only that, it’s actually narrated by Vincent Price, and as it’s all about a little boy who keeps pretending to be Vincent Price that’s pretty damn cool!

Sex With A Ghost

Have you ever had sex with a ghost? Probably not. Although you might have – what about if it happened in your sleep?

The Succubus and the Incubus are both types of evil spirits that have sex with people. In this fascinating article ossuary expert Paul Koudounaris explains how people use mummys in the real world to help themselves with life’s little dissapointments:

“One of the more outlandish stories is about a guy who got to be called “pene grande,” which means “big dick.” He was a mummy famed in life for having a big penis. People would go down to the Palermo Catacombs and treat him as the patron saint of big cocks. Finally a newlywed woman came to see him because she was married to a guy who was not well-endowed. She took a cloth and rubbed it on the mummy’s dick, and then rubbed it on her husband’s dick. The next time she had sex with her husband, his penis seemed larger and fuller and she was about to orgasm except that at that moment she looked up and saw it was actually the ghost on top of her. Everyone thought she was crazy, but then it happened again the next time she had sex. They had to set up an exorcism for this ghost.”

You can read the full article here: Bones, Ghosts, and Paul Koudounaris

Voodoo That You Do

Some people really get under your skin. But now there’s a modern day way of getting your own back with PinStruck, a site that lets you wreak revenge on your most hated acquaintances by putting a hex on them remotely and watch them squirm, all without having to leave the comfort of your laptop or smartphone.

It’s pretty easy, all you need is the hated one’s email address and you’re away.

WARNING: Do not use on people of a nervous disposition. You wouldn’t want anyone to, well, DIE would you.

PinStruck

Stopping Time

Is time constant? Is it something you can rely on?

Here is a picture of a moving clock. You can see the second hand going around quite happily.

So here’s the Time Experiment. Move your gaze over to the left or the right so you’re not directly looking at the clock, but keep your mind on the second hand.

The second hand will slow down the further away you look, and if you look too far to the left or right it may stop altogether, even if just for a moment.

It’s even more noticable when you look directly back at the clock and the second hand appears to resume its previous speed.

How To Stop Time

Limbo

We all use the term ‘in Limbo’ for when we’re in a kind of personal no-man’s-land, hanging around between states, waiting for something to happen and fidgeting a lot because we’re not quite sure of what’s in store for us in the near future.

The term is actually a religious one and Limbo means ‘edge’ or ‘boundary’ – in its original idea, it means the edge of Hell.

Medieval theologians described Hell as being divided into four distinct parts: Hell of the Damned (Gehenna), Purgatory, Limbo of the Fathers (Patriarchs), and Limbo of the Infants.

So Limbo is a speculative idea about the afterlife condition of those who die in Original Sin without being assigned to the Hell of the Damned.

What this mainly means is that if you died in infancy without having the chance to be baptised you will not be eligible for entry into heaven, so you will have to wander around in Limbo for all eternity. Which is a bit unfair.

Limbo on Wikipedia

Satanic Sex

If you’re looking for a bit of satanic kink these days then it’s easier to find than ever thanks to social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook and, as in the example here, Craigslist.

“Looking for a woman with evil appetites.
We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)
Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord’s Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies. I like kittens.”

To read the whole Craigslist entry, follow the link below.

Satanic Sexual Ritual on Craigslist

Trepanning For Spirits

The posessed have a pretty hard time of it, and sometimes you have to act, and act fast. Trepanning has been used by various civilizations in an attempt to remove evil spirits, with mixed results.

“On their bare heads, a small lid was attached over a round hole, which had been bored right in the crown-bone. Such a hole was held in great reverence, and belonged only to the most eminent. Through it, evil vapors were able to escape, and the sunlight could enter to absorb their spirits after death.” – Werner von Heidenstam ‘The Swedes and their Chieftains’ (1908)

Trepanning On Wikipedia

Baby Farming

It’s not what you’re thinking. There aren’t farms of babies grazing in the English countryside and never have been. Their hide is useless and they are even harder to herd than cats. Baby Farming is the term given to mean the taking in of an infant or child for payment, possibly involving wetnursing. Victorian Baby Farmers were paid on the understanding that care would be provided, and the term “baby farmer” was used as an insult, and improper treatment was usually implied.

Amelia Dyer was the most prolific baby farm murderer of Victorian England and although she was tried and hanged for one murder, there is little doubt she was responsible for many more similar deaths — possibly 400 or more. That’s her picture there on the right.

Worst nanny ever.

Amelia Dyer on Wikipedia