Menopausal Piano Teacher

Some teachers are nice. Some teachers are not. Some of them buy you a present on your birthday and pat you on the head if you manage to play Middle C in tune. Some of them get you to do deranged things that they think are good for you, but in fact might be harmful. Like drinking bleach if you fluff a note while playing chromatic scales in contrary motion.

Whatever your piano teacher is like, it’s always nice to have an outlet to express yourself. I came across this blog post where an asian lady recounts some tales surrounding her piano teacher. Sounds like she got away lightly to me.

Attack Of The Piano Teachers

End Of The World

A whole raft of mystical groups are convinced they will escape the end of the world in when it comes in 2012 by making camp in the village of Bugarach, population 200, that will provide shelter from an impending Armageddon according to some recently circulating myths.

Doomsday is largely expected to be on 21st December 2012, the end of a 5,125-year-long cycle in the ancient Maya calendar.

‘Doomsday’ rumours hit French village of Bugarach

Death By Piano

You’ve probably heard of the film ‘House’ made in the 1980’s. But have you heard of the Japanese film ‘Hausu’ made in 1977?

Produced by Nobuhiko Obayashi, the film stars mostly amateur actors with only Kimiko Ikegami and Yoko Minamida having any notable previous acting experience.

Apart from being a strange mix of what appears to be comedy with the odd bit of king-fu action and animation thrown in, a girl gets eaten by a piano. ‘Nuff said.

 

Destroy

Can I write a horror story? Good question. I’ve written songs. They’re much shorter. But one can have the same intent.

Here’s a song I wrote called Destroy. It’s the most evil song I’ve ever written, sung by, and featuring the lips of, Stephanie Grant.

There’s some joyful sing-along subtitles for the hard of hearing. My other English-impaired friends will probably enjoy them too. If you have an ex-boyfriend you’re not that fond of this would be a good song to sing to them. Quietly. While they’re suffocating in the plastic bag you’ve wrapped them in.

Backmasking

If you play a song backwards, it’s bound to summon a whole lot of bad stuff from hell, surely?

Well, depends if it’s Follow The Yellow Brick Road or an Ozzy Ozbourne track by all accounts. Although Slayer say that all that occult reference is ‘just for effect’.

The band Cradle Of Filth recorded The Lords Prayer backwards and used that in a song called ‘Black Mass’. Apparently if you play that loudly you can summon your mother from her Sunday morning hangover.

Satanic Backmasking – Wikipedia Entry

Asylum

This BBC documentary tells the fascinating and poignant story of the closure of Britain’s mental asylums. In the post-war period, 150,000 people were hidden away in 120 of these vast Victorian institutions all across the country.

Today, most mental patients, or service users as they are now called, live out in the community and the asylums have all but disappeared.

Through powerful testimonies from patients, nurses and doctors, the film explores this seismic revolution and what it tells us about society’s changing attitudes to mental illness over the last sixty years.

Prepared Piano

Pianos sound pretty good when you thrown lots of things into them. I’m talking cymbals, bits of wire, nuts and bolts, the occasional small child. When you play a piano full of stuff it tends to generate it’s own percussion backing track.

John Cage used to like to do this, when he wasn’t writing music that had nothing in it.

Check out the YouTube video below to hear John Cage’s ‘Bacchanale’ for prepared piano. It’s kind of creepy.

De-Composed

It’s tough being a composer. But one thing’s for certain. If you don’t die under extreme or bizarre circumstances then you haven’t really lived.

Most of them died rather strangely, usually after years of intense hardship. Being a composer was never meant to be easy and it either drives you crazy or you’ve got to be crazy in the first place.

Hugo Wolf’s (1860-1903) demise was rather dramatic. He attempted to drown himself before requesting admission to an insane asylum where he eventually died completely and utterly mindless.

Jean Baptiste-Lully (1632-1687) inadvertently struck his foot with the pointed staff he had been using to keep time, the wound became gangrenous and, refusing to have the affected area amputated he died on 22 March of that year.

Follow the link to see the top ten composers who died in strange circumstances.

Top 10 Composers Who Died Unnatural or Odd Deaths